


Ones Self

by AnnaStachia



Category: RWBY
Genre: Existential Crisis, Oscar Character Study, Other, i adore this freckled child, i think about this a lot, look - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-19
Updated: 2017-11-19
Packaged: 2019-02-04 03:20:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12762042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaStachia/pseuds/AnnaStachia
Summary: Oscar is worried about what this new life means for him.





	Ones Self

Saying that Oscar is scared is the understatement of a lifetime. He's terrified beyond all belief, terrified right out of his mind so to speak. Literally almost. It's all he can do not to spend his days screaming and his nights crying. So he pushes it down. He ignores it, and he takes it all one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time. If he can get this this minute, he can get through the next and so on and so forth.

He'd like to say that Ozpin is a help, and in some ways he is, but it's hard to helpful when you're the root of the problem, and the former professor does his best to make the transition as comforting as possible. It's a minor relief, but it doesn't dull the looming existential dread he's facing.

Ruby tries to help in her own optimistic way. She's a light in the shadows for many to be sure. He can see that just after a few days of knowing the girl. She brings sunshine into the darkness that has taken hold of all of their lives, while pushing away her own personal night time. Oscar wishes he could be like her, full of hope despite the despair surrounding them. But he's not. Ruby is special, Oscar is not.

He's a simple farm boy, with no special talents or skills to speak of. He can do a little of this, and a little of that. Need help baling some hay or milking a cow, and sure he's got you down. He's never been a fighter, only a dreamer. The huntresses and huntsman of Remnant were heroes and stories, and things to aspire to in his wildest fantasies. Not something that should have ever been a reality. 

If it were just that, he might be okay. He can learn to fight, even eagerly if uncertain. Training itself isn't so bad, even if he ends the night black and blue from head to toe, it might be worth it. He would be doing something good, something to help better the world, which is everyone's dream (or it should be). 

It doesn't end at training, or fighting. It won't end at helping save the world from the great evil threatening it for generations. It won't be him that accomplishes any of that.

Oscar will soon disappear, as Ozpin's soul merges with his own. 

He wants to believe some part of him will still exist. That somewhere deep down he will still be him wholly and entirely, but realistically he knows that can't be. He'll become more Ozpin than Oscar, and anything retained of Oscar will be different, changed. Already he's learning things, things this other half of him has known for centuries. Already its starting to become difficult to decipher what memories are his, and what are Ozpin's. Soon there will be no difference. He'll just be one person. Ozpin, remnant of Oscar Pine.

Oscar may have been a simple farm kid, with no special talents or abilities, and no greater destiny ahead of him, but that's who he was. He was himself, and no one else, and maybe he hadn't been special, but he'd been him. 

Now he doesn't know who he will be, but he won't be Oscar. He'll be someone else entirely. That someone will be special, with amazing skills and abilities, with a grand destiny laid out before him.

But he won't be Oscar.

And he's terriefied of losing himself.


End file.
